Thanksgiving Thoughts 2010

AOG, Barcelona

I think it is a wonderful thing about my life that I've been lucky enough to have lived in many different places. 

From everywhere I've lived, a little something has stuck. In the case of my childhood and youth, Thanksgiving, as is celebrated in the US, has stuck. 

Not just in my life, in my family's life too.

Yesterday I called my mother and sister to wish them a happy Thanksgiving. I contacted friends in the US to do the same. I wished everyone on Facebook a Happy St. Turkey' day. And I flew to Barcelona to be with my partner on this day.

Of course, to most people in Spain (sorry, make that Europe), the idea of Thanksgiving just means the old cliché about Pilgrims and Indians eating a turkey.

I can see their point. 

Cultural relativism is still alive and well.

For me, it had nothing to do with a Turkey. In fact, we had dinner at a Chinese restaurant. But, just before we started to eat, I pinky-held my partner's hands and gave thanks, in English.

Funny things about languages and memory. And feelings. I remember some things in one language, and others in another. And some in both.

Like my mobile number in Spain which I know only in Spanish, but my partner's number I know by heart only in English.

Similarly, yesterday I said thank  you in that language. Had I been forced to do it in Spanish, I would have had to practice before hand.

But the thing about this post, is that I had to think for a moment about the things I am grateful for. I think this year it was not a case of just going through the motions. I don't think it ever is. 

This is a link to what I wrote about Thanksgiving last year. 

Funny that both then and now I chose to mention the holiday.

Every year I've spent in the UK, I managed to gather a group of friends to celebrate Thanksgiving. And then I would meet my family to do much the same whenever possible. 

Of course for us, Thanksgiving day is more like Thanksgiving week. Just like birthdays are birthweeks and Christmas Day is a prolonged festivity.

It was not like this when we were kids, but modern life has this "feature" whereby you want to do one thing, and it ensures things develop in a different direction. 

So for us, what became important was not so much the day itself, more the celebration of an occasion which mean something important, never mind the date itself.

This weekend I am planning to have some friends over here in Barcelona and celebrate with them Thanksgiving.

So yesterday, I gave thanks for many things. For being able to have someone like my partner to have dinner with and celebrate the day; for having a loving family to whom wish a Happy Thanksgiving to; for being in good health (or at least alive!); for being happy (at least at that moment).

Yesterday, a good friend of mine posted this quote from the deceased Chilean writer Roberto Bolaño, on Facebook:

"I have been happy almost everyday of my life, at least for a little while, even in the most adverse circumstances".

I can't help but think about it ever since I read it. 

Isn't it true that we are happy, even for a short while, even on our worst days? I guess I never stopped to think about it. 

Even when I'm having a bad day. Or a bad week (can we say decade?), it is also true that, for short spurts of time, I am happy.

And for this too I gave thanks. For the ability to see things a little different.

Thanksgiving thoughts

AOG, Madrid

It was Thanksgiving yesterday.

When I lived in London, I tried every year to have people round. Family too, though on the day. Friends celebrated Thanksgiving normally on Saturday with me.

Yesterday it almost passed me by. I didn't realize almost until I opened up my "Facemook" account and began to read the well wishes of my friends in the US.

They were all grateful for something.

I was grateful for being able to read their comments, because it meant I had
friends.

I know it sounds silly, but for me, friends have always been something special.

Something to be cherished and in need of care.

That is not to say I've been a good, or even an ok friend. I'm sure I haven't.

Why? Gee, I don't know, because I'm human?

N0r does it mean that my friends deserve a Nobel Peace Prize. They don't.

I've had mostly bad friends in life, until recently (that is to say, starting about 10 years ago or so). I've also had good friends, but good friends in life are a luxury.

And for every good friend I have, there's been about 30 plonkers, all in successive order. And for every plonker there's been about 500 morons.

I think the best thing I can say is that as I got older, I began to rid myself, ever so stealthily, of some of the ballast I was carrying around. In 2004, I believe, I cut diplomatic relations with a particular friend after having had just about enough. Do I miss this friend? Oh, I would be lying if I said no. I do. I miss this friend sometimes.

But right away I start to remember the reasons why I started to grow tired of this person, the hysterics, the scenes, the words, the strange behavior.

So yes, there is a feeling there, but I don't allow it to get very far.

Not long ago I became reacquainted with a friend from High School back in Texas. I last saw this person in 1998, at our reunion.

We've been in touch, off and on ever since.

These days, thanks to the magic of "Facemook", we are talking more often.

Are we growing closer? Hard to say, there is an ocean between us, and friendship is all about shared moments. And yet, we have developed a certain complicity.

Epistolary, but nevertheless constant.


Strangely enough, one of my best friends (a reader of this blog I might add) and I speak very irregularly, and yet, when we do, it feels as if we spoke just yesterday. We go through spells, and, amazingly, "Facemook" has not brought us closer.

Perhaps because we were close already?


For them, for the ones I left behind, the ones who left me by the wayside, the ones who steadfastly stick by my side, the ones I cherish, the ones I miss, even the ones I'm yet to meet, I say thank you on this post Thanksgiving (alias St. Turkey's Day) day.