Sunday, December 20, 2009

Avatar

AOG, Madrid

Just saw the movie Avatar, by the director James Cameron.

First impressions: very weak writing, predictable throughout, way too long, and, yes, very good special effects.

The movie has flaws as deep as the cheekbones on the Na’vi. For example, if you’ve ever heard of General Custer or Sitting Bull, you are in familiar territory.

The indigenous people are a XIX century caricature of the customs of native peoples everywhere.

They behave a bit like animals sometimes, grunting, growling, and showing their teeth, and in the next scene, they are all doing some sort of Cumbaya around a tree with glo-worms everywhere.

Please note that in the film, the character Neytiri’s mother, the Shaman of the tribe, speaks with a Jamaican accent when she speaks English. And the locals all have braided hair and ride horses like the Apache did.

Oh, and yes, in the future, everyone speaks English on Earth. And the natives, although a different species, can pick it up quite quickly. Handy, yes?

If you’ve seen Aliens (also a Cameron movie), then the Evil Space Corporation from Earth reprise will not surprise you. How ironic that Sigourney Weaver stars in both films.

But there are other things that will remind of you Aliens. Gadgets, insults (like "Bitch"), characters, etc.

There are gaps in the story line, a couple of loose ends, and, unfortunately, although it is meant to be in the future, everything that happens is quite modern. Like all! There is no futuristic moral message.

The entire movie is like watching a Native American tribe being kicked out of their land by white men in 1920. Flying machines versus bows and arrows. Warriors against soldiers. Yes, you’ve seen it all before, but done better.

And no, in case you are wondering, there are no gay people in the future and the Na’vi are a species which likes to paint its body and biologically connect with the local fauna, but nothing which might even hint at homosexuality, though, and this might be a bit of a shocker, zoophlilia is well catered for.

"Feel her strong legs, now her hearbeat and yours are one".

Gimme a break!

There are also no fat humans, or fat Na'vi, they are all slim and tall and athletic, and the blue beings don't age. Or at least not with wrinkles.

All in all, it is sad to see that Sci Fi has not yet moved beyond Minority Report, Aliens, Apocalypse Now, Gorillas in the Mist, Disney’s Cimarron and Predator.

The movie feels a lot like a two-and-a-half hour long video game.

It doesn't help that it looks like a beautiful one too most of the time.