Left out and left behind

AOG, Madrid

Yesterday I was doing some shopping on the way home.  I had gone to the local supermarket with my headphones on and was looking to buy some dinner.
 

I noticed this woman fellow shopper as I went to the canned vegetables isle. I didn’t give her much thought since she looked very unfriendly and, quite frankly, these days I have zero time for unfriendly-looking people. 

I went about my business and stood in line to pay for a few minutes (it still amazes me how in Europe cash tills are usually kept at minimum with huge lines at any one time on any one register).
 

Suddenly, the angry woman in black rushed out of the supermarket with her huge over-the-shoulder bag.
 

The cashier was too busy and didn’t see her leave. The security guard was nowhere to be seen (maybe he was on a break). And the people in line in front of me where too preoccupied with having to wait for so long to pay.
 

So what is my gripe? Well, when I had last seen her, her hands were filled with items. When she saw me perhaps she got defensive that I had come to her isle when she was about to do some creative ‘discounting’ in her favor.
 

I did see her a couple more times in the store, and at all times she had her hands full.
 

So when she rushed out, I could only think the worse. Especially after, as I was leaving, the security guard came asking the cashier about her.
 

So why is this particular ‘potential’ shoplifter of any interest? Many reasons.
 

First of all, this woman was, in appearance anyway, middle class.  Almost trendy. She was well dressed and had an elegant manner to her.
 

Second of all, she was old. Maybe early to mid sixties. Although I know that people of all ages shoplift, it is true that she went against type. Middle class elderly women in Spain do not, as a general rule, shoplift. 

Especially not food.
 

But here it was, the real and ugly face of Spain’s current economic crisis.
 

The media in Spain, and I find this surprising, continuously go on and on about youth unemployment. With good reason, it is true. However, Spain suffers from a much more modern (yet antiquated in its inception) malaise. 

Unlike the US, or other more forward-thinking countries, in Spain, once you are past the age of 40, you may as well forget about working. 

In the labor market you are pretty much invisible and unemployable. 

And no, I am not exaggerating. 

Last year, about 40% of people unemployed in Spain were over the age of 40. The number is higher for those over 50. 

It is true that, generally, in Spain most employers prefer to hire younger and cheaper workers than those with greater experience. 

The first time I saw an advert which stated very explicitly “People over the age of 40 need not apply” I was shocked. That was 5 years ago, but those adverts have not stopped popping up. 

And yes, in theory, Spanish law forbids age discrimination. But this is one of those instances where the law is much more advanced than the society it is meant to serve.

Whereas in the UK such adverts would create an outrage, here they merely reflect the current state of affairs.

And I have another example. Years ago a friend of mine from Barcelona had just gotten back from the US. 

He is not exactly anti-American, but he does have that strange superiority complex which most Europeans seem to don whenever it comes to American culture and American practices and things they don’t know anything about.

He was telling us at a bar about his trip. About how wonderful it all was, how cheap things are in the US, and about how, in America, old people are exploited.

“I went to Wal-Mart, and the guy bagging my shopping was an old guy! Why do Americans exploit the elderly like that?”

Most people kept quiet and some laughed. Where he saw exploitation I saw respite from life and poverty.

And then I said that unlike in Spain, where old people are not even hired, at least in the US the elderly are not discarded and they are allowed to remain productive if they wish to be.

My friend was not convinced. Neither were the others, although some did say that, as usual, the US was more advanced than Spain in these matters and that Spain had “a long way to go still”.

But you see, in Spain, most old people don’t work not because they don’t want to, they don’t work because they are either retired, or they can't find a job. 

Of course, Spain being Spain, the family plays a very large part in this scenario. 

Most retired people in Spain have a state pension, and many financial benefits, however most does not mean all. 

When that happens, the family tends to fill in the gaps which the State leaves open (and there’s many of those). 

Although access to free health is guaranteed, many other things are not, and that is where most people rely on their families. 

For example, it is not at all uncommon for married couples to take in their elderly parents to live with them. Less so these days, especially in large cities like Madrid or Barcelona. 

But it is not uncommon, nor unheard of, nor strange. Nor is it strange to go on vacation with the entire family, grandparents included. 

Personally I find this one of the more endearing traits of Spanish society. 

There was a story in the papers a couple of years ago which talked about an elderly couple, one of whom (the wife) had been made homeless when the building they lived in was about to be refurbished. They had been living there for over 40 years. 

“There” was a one room studio apartment the walls of which could be touched at the same time if you stretched out both your arms. 

In Spain this is known as “infra-vivienda”, or substandard housing. Unfortunately they are not the only couple living in such conditions. 

On the one hand you could blame social services, but on the other you can also blame these people’s culture.
It is unsightly to ask for help, or complain publicly. Or at least it is for their generation. Younger people do complain more, though there is not much of a culture of asking for help. Ironically, there is a culture of demanding a particular right.

This I usually put down to their rights being trampled during the Franco dictatorship. 

So when that elderly woman left with, probably, some shopping in her bag, it dawned on me just how bad things are beginning to get. And although Spain’s economy is much larger than Greece’s (and Portugal, Ireland and Iceland put together), if things get worse, then people’s lives will suffer because of it. 

Although there is a large underground economy in the country, it is obvious that not everyone participates in it. 

That lady last night did not seem to be participating in it.

The moment I felt most American

AOG, Madrid

On election day 1988 my mother, my sister and I were on a Jumbo Jet heading for Europe. 

We arrived in Madrid and within less than an hour we were on a train heading for the region of Extremadura, on the border with Portugal. 

My thoughts on that long journey (it was about an 8 hour train journey then to add to the transatlantic flight) centered around what our new lives would be like in this continent. I remember being told at the time that Spain only had 2 television channels. 

This might seem ridiculous to you, but I had grown up with cable, and two channels seemed insufficient to me. And third-world like. And I wasn't happy about it.

I remember stepping off the train and looking over the tracks to my right. A beautiful hill and forest scene with sheep peacefully standing there, hardly moving. To my left, the future. 

We had gone to Extremadura because one of my mother’s great aunts lived there with her Italian husband, who came to pick us up at the train station. My parents were separated now and would divorce a few years later, and this was the only close family we had at the time. 

The car which picked us up at the station was a white Ford Escort. I remember thinking then “ok, I know this model, everything is going to be ok”. 

View of the city of Caceres

 A couple of days later, my sister and I went into town on our own. I clearly recall my thoughts when I saw this very modern looking parking meter with a digital screen right next to a XVII century Baroque palace with medieval elements attached to it.

I immediately thought back to the meters in Houston where you had to stick a quarter and roll a handle to watch a little flag pop up telling you how much time you had left. 

 At that moment, America didn’t seem modern at all, especially when compared to this country which could allow things like Baroque palaces and modern digital machines to co-exist side by side. It was, I think, my first eye-opener.

A year after landing in Spain, we landed in London. Life was moving on.

I have to say that from the moment I set foot in Europe in 1988 I have felt American on a daily-basis. It is hard to explain, but it must be related to not really knowing what the deal is most of the time. To making a faux pas here and there, that you are not even aware that you are making. 

To looking at things and thinking, “my God what are they on about with this?”. 

To reacting to some situations in a manner different from expected by my friends and colleagues.

To not settling for tripe when tripe is being served (although I think this is more about me than about me being American; many Americans settle for tripe too easily).

I know I am different from most of the people who surround me and my life. I think differently.  I act differently. I react differently. I want different results. Better things in general.

And I'm glad I do. Just as I am glad that they think differently from me.

I have experienced hundreds of examples of this  cultural disparity since election day 1988.

But back to the original question.

In 1995 I went back to the US and stayed with a friend in Alabama. it was my first trip back since 1988.

Although everything was familiar I could see small cultural cracks here and there. I was no longer the same person who’d left the country 7 years before.

And the questions began to flood in. Some positive, some negative.

Why do people drive everywhere? Why don't they make more sidewalks? Why do they all eat so much processed food? Why are things national and not local? Why are there so many people who allow religion to rule their lives? Why all this racism and hate? Why are women's fashion and hair stuck in the 1980s?

I was feeling very much the European throughout. But then something happened.

 Shortly before I left, I went out one night in Birmingham and I met this guy who was very friendly.

I remember talking with him about things, his life and his future, and mine. He was about my age and had achieved quite a lot. He told me about his up and coming projects, dreams, and achievable goals. There it was once again. American positive thinking. Everything was possible.

I remember thinking during that conversation that I needed to get my butt in gear and be like my right-there-in-front-of-me peer.

I needed to complete my education, just like him, and start aiming for a good job, just like him, and aim for a better life, just like him.

He was talking to me in a language I completely understood. The cultural references were identical. The outlook was familiar and well trodden. The goals achievable. The future was bright, and it had an American glow about it.

I felt very American just then. That instant catapulted me back to the person I used to be just before that Pan Am flight touched down at Madrid Barajas Airport in 1988. The feeling stayed with me for a long time afterwards.

I returned to London.

Yes, the minute I got back to my flat in central London the questions started flowing, but in reverse.

Why is everything so expensive? Why is everyone so poor? Is this a police state? Why doesn’t anyone smile? What am I doing here?

It was a few years before I realized what I was doing there and before I could answer my  own questions.

I confess that these days, I am one of those people who feel very American in Europe, and very European whenever I go to the US. I can't help that. In fact, I rather like it. 

2010 recap

AOG, London

The year 2010 is over. What a year it has been. I think the older I get the easier it is to take the good with the bad. Perhaps because one eventually realizes that there is just nothing else to do! 

Maybe this is wisdom of some kind.

Although only 365 years long, I have to say that, for the most part, I can't really remember a lot of what went on this year. Perhaps I can think of the grand themes of the year.

It started in a very humanitarian way with a natural disaster in Haiti early on. Moving on to a historical (but only for the British and no one else) general election in the UK which gave the country its first coalition-Government since the 1940s and the Winter Olympics in Vancouver which completely passed me by.

Later, I can recall the up-and-coming post UK election quagmire regarding the state of British finance; rioting students in London, and....well....little else in that country.

As for the rest of the planet, there was the Chilean miners story, the (pretend) Coup in Ecuador, Cuba's ever growing spiral into the abyss whilst pretending that all is well closely resembles the same idea, although with a local flavor, in Venezuela.

North Korea attacking South Korea, the US shunning the EU a few times, the Spanish economy heading for disaster,  the odd political corruption scandal in Spain, the Nobel peace prize winner (from China) and the Nobel prize for Literature (from Peru, though the Spanish press treat Vargas Llosa as though he were domestic), turmoil in Africa and, again, in the Middle East (by this I mean that there is no progress in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict).

On a personal note, this year was eventful in many ways, and subdued in others. 

Job went well, colleagues at work were all nice, made some friends, discovered one enemy (odd, right?), tried to find a new career path but was derailed early on and until further notice, and went to Turkey.

A new baby came into my partner's family, and thus, somehow, into mine. I had a good year for my photographs though not so good for my short-story writing. 

Health wise, well, I could be better. I've read some good books, and some good short stories. I've become (finally) a fan of Gaga, even though her concert in Madrid left me a bit lukewarm. I'm just not her little monster. Nor her little freak.

And, finally, I got to visit the place where I was born and to where I'd never returned since, not even once. And it was an odd experience.

I end the year realizing that, perhaps, I am a little ahead that from where I was this time 2009. 

I think that, all in all, this is a good thing.

Miss California Vs. Gay Marriage

AOG, Madrid

This all started with Carrie Prejean, Miss California, giving her personal views to a question regarding gay marriage posed by Perez Hilton, one of the Miss America judges. Her reply meandered around political correctness for a bit before falling into religious convictions and prejudice.
-one of the

Her views were incipiently homophobic. Since then, many people, in many forums, have defended these views. Others have derided them. Others still have applauded her for "sticking to her views" and "being true to herself", regardless of the fact that they are prejudiced.


I have always been amazed at how we can applaud ignorance and bigotry just because the individual in question is being "true" to themselves and only following religious morals when being homophobic.

We somehow manage not to do the same when they are being racist, although the Bible was used not long ago as a source for justifying racism. I guess that, to many, it is still ok to hate gay people because the Bible says so.

As if that were not enough, this woman has decided to fully oppose gay marriage and protect "traditional" marriage.

The US has the highest divorce rate on Earth. I don"t think this is because of gay marriages. This is just another ploy to further repress gay people under the guise of respectability and tradition.

She and her advisors should be ashamed of themselves. Now more than ever I'm glad this homophobic beauty queen did not win Miss America. How long before she becomes yesterday"s news?

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