Royal Wedding 2011

AOG, London

I just spent the better part of my weekend traipsing all over London. I would like to say that you can't help but notice that there is a Royal Wedding in our midst….but I’d be lying.

Regent Street

London’s West End was, for once, not at all interested in Royalness. 

This may, and probably will, change by Friday. 

But if you walked around Oxford street, you’d be forgiven for thinking the wedding had been and gone. 

Until you turn into Regent Street that is. Once there, you do get a feeling of, not Royalness, but Britishness. Why? 

Only because they have Union Jacks flying from one side of the street to the other all the way from Oxford Circus to Picadilly Circus. But that’s about it. 

Here and there, some stores had either a union jack “motif” on their window, or something alluding to the happy couple. But little else.

Further afield the West End, for example on the train back to the airport, you could see some towns had one street with bunting and union jacks. But not much else.

However, this is not to say that the wedding is not having an impact on sales. Many shops (Ted Baker, Paperchase) have some sort of Union Jack/Royal regalia object or product for sale to commemorate the event.

As do the tourist stands which pepper all of the West End. You know, those places which entice you to purchase a mug with the portrait of the Queen or Prince Philip, or a postcard with some royal plastered on it, or any other "royal" kitsch paraphernalia.

 Or the ubiquitous Union Jack with a portrait of Kate and William. These are bestsellers they told me.

To be fair, most of the people I spoke with are happy they are getting married but not so happy about the financial state of their country. The wedding is reputed to be on the Queen’s bank account. That is to say, the British “people” are not paying for it. 

Except that not many people believe that and, of course, no one will even know the true cost of the affair.

However, officially, her majesty is paying as are Miss Middleton’s family –who, by the way, are millionaires (you didn’t think he was going to marry somebody poor did you?). 

Certainly the Royal family is paying for the dress and the receptions at Buckingham palace (where some food will be served but not as much as you think!*).

But what I think they are not paying for is the cost of policing the event, and the clean up afterwards.

As it is, London Police are inspecting manhole covers, drains, traffic lights, and lamp posts along the parade route. Overall, the security operation is expected to cost £20 million ($32.6 million).

However, it is worth saying that many people can’t help to look back to that other royal wedding, the fairy-tale one, when the heir to the British throne married a certain Lady Diana Spencer, mother of this year’s groom.

If you need your daily Royalty fix, look no further than this blog by the BBC.  

*A few years ago, the Palace uncovered an alarming statistic about guests attending the Queen's annual garden parties. Rather than just nibbling on one or two snacks, they were consuming, on average, 14 sandwiches, cakes, ice creams and scones (I mean, how dare they those plebs!). The palace has come up with an ingenious solution — they  have reduced the size of the treats on offer!

Lay Spain 2011

AOG, Madrid

Spain these days likes to present the World its best non-religious face. Its Prime Minister, Mr. Zapatero, is a well known atheist who, nevertheless, attended a religious service when it visited the US in the company of the Obamas. 

And that is probably the best example of how this country tries to do away with religion in its institutions, while kow-towing to religion time and time again. Something which many people in Spain wish did not happen.

The best example of this is the recent controversy an atheist group has presented Madrid’s (Socialist) Government Representative in the city. A group known as AMAL - Asociación Madrileña de Ateos y Librepensadores (Madrid association of atheists and freethinkers)-, requested permission from the Town Hall to stage a public demonstration in favor of atheism on Maudy Thursday. And this hot potato has gone from the Conservative ruled Town Hall straight to the (Socialist) Government representative in Madrid, with the media in tow all along the way.

The problem is that on that very day, Madrid, and most of Spain, is deep in the midst of Easter Week, with daily processions of religious figures, Saints, Virgins and crucified images of Christ, which the faithful congregate on the streets to see. 

Madrid’s Easter processions are relatively low key compared to the religious pomp and circumstance of cities like Valladolid and the über Catholic processions of Seville, in the South of the country but nevertheless as a popular religious expression.

It is fair to say that the Catholic Church is allowed to take over the streets of Spain at this time, and that the whole country sort of shuts down for the duration.

Of course, Spain 2011 is not the same as Spain 1911. These days, many people, even many religious people, are not entirely sure that the Church should be given such a free hand when it comes to public spaces, and Easter, or Holy Week as it is known, can certainly be a nuisance for many people since it entails increased levels of noise, public crowds, traffic cuts and delays, etc.

But that is not exactly the point of the demonstration. It had more to do with an incipient, yet eternal, movement towards atheism.

The Government’s regional representative argued up to 11 reasons for which it denied the demonstration which it quickly called “an atheist procession”, alluding to an anti-religious sentiment and the intention of AMAL to promote its “atheist ideology”. AMAL, as well as the local organisation La Playa de Lavapies however, never called it a procession and insisted it was a public demonstration.

It is worth noting that AMAL is a group from the neighborhood of Lavapies, which is a small melting pot of different nationalities in Madrid. 

In fact, it would be fair to say that about half the population of Lavapies is not of Christian origin, coming as many of them do from places like North Africa or the Indian subcontinent, although no religious group asked for this demonstration, quite the opposite. 

Unfortunately, the controversy was served as soon as the Town Hall started to pass the buck. 

Many other atheist groups in Madrid and in Spain have joined AMAL and it has the right of appeal before Madrid’s Superior Justice Tribunal since the demonstration’s denial is seen as a violation of the fundamental right of public demonstration and assembly, enshrined in Spain’s legal system.

However, it seems like they had no time to do this since they are being sued by 10 citizens -7 of them lawyers- on the grounds of "religious derision". 

The fact that "religious derision" can be counted as a punishable crime in Spain has many people in the country up in arms.

Furthermore, they are also being sued by a Christian Lawyers Association for “extolling terrorism” and an NGO (HazteOir.org ) for “genocide” –it seems AMAL allegedly used pre civil war arguments for their demonstration and maybe “justified” their actions by so doing, and thus allegedly broke a law on Spain’s Penal Code, (unfortunately, a lot of priests and nuns were killed before the Spanish Civil War of 1936-39 and it is against the law to justify or deny their deaths) which forbids “The diffusion by any means of ideas or doctrines which deny or justify the crimes of genocide… or pretend the rehabilitation of regimes or institutions which shelter any practises which generate said crimes”.

It seems like the people who wanted to carry out the demonstration never thought it would all end up like this and they still want to carry out their demonstration, although it does not look like they will.

Mr. Luis Vega, president of AMAL, has stated that prohibiting this demonstration is a “worrying” fact and one that “means a withdrawal of the country’s liberties” since the city’s Administration uses the same arguments as those used by religious authorities to forbid the public demonstration. 

This is one of the few public declarations they have made since they went public with their request given the fact that they have, allegedly, been “threatened” ever since. “We were trying to criticise the Church as an institution, not any religious belief. We meant it to be like a neighborhood band type of thing”.

Madrid’s Government Representative has denied the petition on these grounds:

- The procession’s (sic) route “curiously” presents names related to catholic symbology

- The chosen date: Maudy Thursday

- The chosen time coincides with that of various Catholic processions

- The denominations of the participating “brotherhoods” (AMAL never said there would be any “brotherhoods”, but it seems that other atheist groups slightly hijacked their initiative and announced there would be brotherhoods akin to those found on Catholic processions with names such as the Pope’s Brotherhood of the Holy Larceny or the Brotherhood of the Holy Paedophile)

- It takes place in a zone with various parish churches

- The content of the group’s posters and public declarations

- It coincides with the route taken by Catholic processions “well-known for years”

- The presence of radical and antagonistic groups

- Massive public affluence and the need to protect Madrid’s touristic image

- Enclave of a very high artistic and historical value

-The Police, Town Hall, the Public Defender’s Office, and the Government’s representative coincide in that it should not take place

Of course, part of the problem lies in the fact that it was the Government’s representative that denied the petition. 

The Government is ruled at present by the Socialist Party, a political organisation which continuously tries to present its lay credentials but which often falls short in the eyes of many.

For its part, AMAL and La Playa de Lavapies have issued statements whereby they declare that they abide the Government's ruling and will not carry out any public demonstration on said date. 

However, it remains to be seen if nothing beyond the religious processions will take place. 

Many in Spain see this as another example of their non-denominational Government bowing to religious pressure and as a victory for the Catholic Church, an institution which in Spain, surprisingly, has of late been playing the victim continuously, especially since the Socialists came into power in 2004.

Yuri Gagarin

AOG, Madrid

Today it is 50 years since Soviet Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin climbed into his space ship and was launched into space, thereby kickstarting the space race between two superpowers which ended with the first man in the moon in 1969. 

It took Gagarin just 108 minutes to orbit Earth and he returned as the World's very first space man. 

I think that the world henceforth, and even during my childhood, looked to a promising future. 

Space travel, colonies on the Moon, terraforming, traveling to Mars and beyond. 

It all looked splendid. 

Problem is, it never happened. 

I rememebr as a child being told about the future I would live in.

About flying cars, hovering craft, day trips to Space, to the bottom of the ocean, supercomputers this and supercomputers that.

And yes, we even had supersonic flight courtesy of the Anglo-French Concorde. 

Until we didn't.

Heck, remember the world of the Jetson's? Now that was futuristic and foreseeable!

Unfortunately, it seems that the future we were being sold does exist, but only in cyberspace. Not in outer space. Or Earth. 

You need only pick up a video game, or watch a Sci-Fi movie to glimpse at that future, where you should be living had all the predictions come true. 

It would appear that we do know how to furnish  and dress that future; we just don't know how to make it happen. 

Yes, I know we've had many advances and technical revolutions lately. 

The Internet towers above most of these, but it was conjured up back in the 1960s. 

What else? Yes, cell phones, personal computers, microwave ovens, DVDs, Plasma, LED, LCD television, 3D everything, but little else.

Granted, we live in a more advanced state of development (though at what cost to the planet!) than we did 30 years ago, or even 20. Or 10. 

But if you take a look around you, nothing much has changed. Cars still don't fly. We won't send a manned aircraft to Mars until 20..who know when (so expensive you see). 

Supersonic flight is but a memory to us (though young people have no memory of it), and there are no colonies on the Moon. At least not Earth colonies. 

So...what does the new future hold? It would appear that we have absolutely no clue. Nor do we know what it will look like. 

Yes, thank you thank you all you futurologists with your massive projections of our current time into our distant future where things look pretty much the same except for their future-looking design cues. 

I'm talking about the great work of people like Syd Mead, but also people like Collani.

But if you really are wondering, here's a link to an article in the British press (The Independent) concerning the year 2020. That's only 8-9 years from now. 

Do you think it will really be like that?

How about these products? Are they part of the future you envision?

When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I was given a copy of a book titled: The World of the Future: Future Cities. 

I loved it. I read it and reread it. It was my personal Bible. 

I even began to draw articles to add on to what was already there. 

I think that is where my love for design started. I wanted to design part of the future.

Today, this book has no equal. 

Nothing is being published to resemble it. I think it is because we have lost our taste for things like that. 

Yes, we like progress, but progress turned out to look like nothing we were shown as kids.

It may still surprise us though!

Outside

AOG, Madrid

Outside is different. What does this normally mean? Well, for starters, it means that everywhere you go, it is going to be different. Different? You may say, But of course!

Well Little Miss Smart Ass, you don’t know different until you see a French toilet up close and personal. Or until you enter a rest area on a British highway and marvel at the dried up and insipid food. You never knew sausages could taste like rope did you?

Yes, forget America’s obsession with hygiene and smells and get ready to enter the smelly world waiting for you just outside your local international airport terminal.

The planet is different from us. Not better or worse just different, and I suggest you strap yourself tightly, darling, because the great “unknown” just beyond our borders is going to smack you in the face like a wet fish and no, it won’t say sorry afterwards.

Start with Europe, one of our acknowledged cultural homelands (for what else is our country but an amalgamation of XVIII European Enlightenment thoughts and ideas sprinkled here and there with some good old fashioned social and religious persecution and a shameless excuse for slavery and world domination?).

Europeans feel superior to us. No, I can’t explain it. They just do. It does not matter that we tend to earn more, have bigger and longer hair, that our waistlines are expanding like mount Krakatoa on acid, or that we live in larger homes. 

It does not matter that the price we pay for gas is half of what they pay, or that anything the Japanese invent, we get first.

It goes beyond that.

Europeans have a certain knack for keeping old things around which we either lost along the way, or, quite frankly, never acquired. And yes, we must admit, that is why we go to Europe.

No one in their right mind travels seven hours from JFK to stare at London’s Canary Wharf, or eight hours to be marvelled by La Defense, in Paris.

No.

We jump into those flying tubes to get what we don’t get in America: old stuff. Sometimes, very old stuff. In the case of Greece and Italy, even ancient stuff.

And here’s where their dislike of us begins. Once, in Southern Spain, I overheard a group of American teenagers as they were being addressed by their tour guide.

“We will visit the Roman ruins of Italica”, she said.

And what did Miss Blonde Bimbo say to her friend within earshot of yours truly?

“Oh, we have those back home, how boring”.

In case you are wondering, la Bimbona was from Texas.

The tour guide overheard her and started to laugh when she glanced over towards the airhead section of the group and saw me trying to gnaw my veins off in disgust.

Europeans, I must confess, don’t hate Americans, they just hate stupid people.

Unfortunately for us, we do have an inordinate amount of those within our borders. Sometimes they even make it into the White House, so imagine how superior Europeans feel!

In Europe you will find old everything: homes, cars, clothes, people, museums, streets, jewels, neighborhoods, cities, bridges, and, interestingly, customs.

Europeans like their tradition even more than we do, the difference being that they have so much of it!

Like their tradition of keeping poor people poor. 

An age old tradition that one.

Why help the poor better their lot in life when they will only multiply and produce more smelly poor people? 

Like I always say, you can’t rape the willing!

Harsh, but very much how many European governments treat their population, and they then, in turn, say things like “please Sir, can I have some more?”

Unless they are Scandinavian. These are probably the only countries on Earth which have worked tirelessly to ensure everyone is middle class, and poor at the same time.

Poor? You may ask. But I heard they have a great social system!

Indeed they do. Everything is paid for…out of their salary. What is the point of earning 60K when half (or more) of it is going to the State? So ok, they are not exactly Brokeback Mountain poor, but they are sort of lower middle class on state aid poor… ish.

But they drive Saabs and Volvos! You say. Yes, but they tend to be cheaper there. And subsidised.

Unlike their alcohol, which is taxed to death and controlled unlike in any other place on this planet.

Which explains why Scandinavians like to visit Southern Europe so much: booze is cheaper there, and like the Vikings they really are at heart, they love nothing more than getting wasted on a Mediterranean beach after (or even whilst) “fertilizing” a local lovely.

Ah…Europe…so civilized…and yet…so not!

Like I said at the beginning, “outside” is different. Be prepared, yes, but bear in mind that our way is not the only way, nor the best way.

You really haven’t lived until you’ve Frenched a drunken Adonis on a Mediterranean beach under a star lit sky with Europop blaring nearby. 

Or until you discover what a foreskin is. You thought you had, but I assure you, you haven’t. Not until you've seen one upclose and personal.

Pack your bags my lovely, it is going to be a bumpy, yet thrilling, ride!