Friday, November 26, 2010

Thanksgiving Thoughts 2010

AOG, Barcelona

I think it is a wonderful thing about my life that I've been lucky enough to have lived in many different places. 

From everywhere I've lived, a little something has stuck. In the case of my childhood and youth, Thanksgiving, as is celebrated in the US, has stuck. 

Not just in my life, in my family's life too.

Yesterday I called my mother and sister to wish them a happy Thanksgiving. I contacted friends in the US to do the same. I wished everyone on Facebook a Happy St. Turkey' day. And I flew to Barcelona to be with my partner on this day.

Of course, to most people in Spain (sorry, make that Europe), the idea of Thanksgiving just means the old cliché about Pilgrims and Indians eating a turkey.

I can see their point. 

Cultural relativism is still alive and well.

For me, it had nothing to do with a Turkey. In fact, we had dinner at a Chinese restaurant. But, just before we started to eat, I pinky-held my partner's hands and gave thanks, in English.

Funny things about languages and memory. And feelings. I remember some things in one language, and others in another. And some in both.

Like my mobile number in Spain which I know only in Spanish, but my partner's number I know by heart only in English.

Similarly, yesterday I said thank  you in that language. Had I been forced to do it in Spanish, I would have had to practice before hand.

But the thing about this post, is that I had to think for a moment about the things I am grateful for. I think this year it was not a case of just going through the motions. I don't think it ever is. 

This is a link to what I wrote about Thanksgiving last year

Funny that both then and now I chose to mention the holiday.

Every year I've spent in the UK, I managed to gather a group of friends to celebrate Thanksgiving. And then I would meet my family to do much the same whenever possible. 

Of course for us, Thanksgiving day is more like Thanksgiving week. Just like birthdays are birthweeks and Christmas Day is a prolonged festivity.

It was not like this when we were kids, but modern life has this "feature" whereby you want to do one thing, and it ensures things develop in a different direction. 

So for us, what became important was not so much the day itself, more the celebration of an occasion which mean something important, never mind the date itself.

This weekend I am planning to have some friends over here in Barcelona and celebrate with them Thanksgiving.

So yesterday, I gave thanks for many things. For being able to have someone like my partner to have dinner with and celebrate the day; for having a loving family to whom wish a Happy Thanksgiving to; for being in good health (or at least alive!); for being happy (at least at that moment).

Yesterday, a good friend of mine posted this quote from the deceased Chilean writer Roberto Bolaño, on Facebook:

"I have been happy almost everyday of my life, at least for a little while, even in the most adverse circumstances".

I can't help but think about it ever since I read it. 

Isn't it true that we are happy, even for a short while, even on our worst days? I guess I never stopped to think about it. 

Even when I'm having a bad day. Or a bad week (can we say decade?), it is also true that, for short spurts of time, I am happy.

And for this too I gave thanks. For the ability to see things a little different.


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Of prayers and wishes

AOG, Madrid

The year is almost over, but the worse thing is that Christmas is almost upon us. 

The last time I was in London, the lights were up on Oxford street. 

So that's about two months of lights and decorations. The season is in full swing once again.

However, Christmas always makes me think about those people who will have to "bear" the celebrations once more. 

I am thinking about those people who will not be able to fully participate in the festivities. 

People who wish they had the money to buy all the goodies on show. 

Money to buy a little bit of happiness. Never mind money, sometimes just a job will do.

Here in Madrid, the season too has started. But in a different way. 

I once read that the great American poet, Maya Angelou, said this about luck: "If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities".

You see, one of the typical things people in Spain do this time of year, is buy a lottery ticket. It is a national custom. The Spanish, like the Americans, are obsessed with luck.

My partner buys me a ticket as a Christmas  present. I think it is kind of nice that someone gives you as a gift the opportunity to acquire a lot of money.


In Madrid's Gran Vía boulevard, there is a certain lottery vendor known as 'Doña Manolita' who acquired its fame years ago for  being a place where a few winning tickets were sold over the years.

Spain at present has Europe's biggest unemployment rate as well as the largest number of people unemployed in the developed world to the tune of 4.5 million people. 

Yesterday on the paper, as well as on television, there were stories about how long the lines were and how they crowded out other shoppers in the area. 

I walked past it this past weekend and the line was something else. More than ever, the Spanish need their luck to change. Or, barring that, just extra cash will do quite nicely, thank you. Can we blame them?

It is easy to see that in time of despair, some of us detach our thoughts from our mundane lives and throw ourselves into the arms of fortune in the hope that, as Angelou wrote, a single fantasy will change one million realities. 

We all want change, though we all fear it. Of course, the change we like is the change we can control. The change we work for and expect as the fruit of our toil and labor. 

Yet I remember the eternal Chinese caveat: "Be careful what you wish for, it just might happen". 

And lets not forget the great Spanish mystic, St. Teresa of Avila, who wrote: "More tears are shed over answered prayers than  unanswered ones". 

So, as per usual, we have something to fear from the unknown and we are warned, in both Chinese and Western cultures, not to want to change things too much. Not to ask for much. 

Not to desire much, just in case. Just in case we get it. 

And then what? Perhaps it is more about not wanting too much, and using fear to try and make us happier because, more than likely, our prayers won't be answered, and our wishes won't be granted. 

Yet, even though this might be the case, we choose to envelop a little bit of knowledge, or mundane philosophy if you like, in  transcendental ideas. 

Is it that the Earthly world is just too real for us to cope with it fully?
I don't know. 

All I know is that the year is coming to an end.

That 2010 will eventually be forgotten, for better or for worse. That I will pray and wish for change, and that nothing out of the ordinary will happen. 

I will not wake up a millionaire from just wishful thinking. 

Or from buying a lottery ticket. 

Of course, I might just buy the winning number. 

One never knows!

That is why we call it a game of chance. 

The online dictionary defines the word thus: "The unknown and unpredictable element in happenings that seems to have no assignable cause."

No assignable cause. 

Much like what is done when one prays. When one makes a wish.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Work in progress

AOG, Madrid

Today I applied for a job. I had to write a letter. This is what I wrote.

"Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn once wrote "Man has set for himself the goal of conquering the world but in the processes loses his soul".

 From the beginning of the modern era, the common man has been caught in between politics and technology, both of which have harmed and aided him in almost equal parts. The anonymity of the Middle Ages was swept away by the arrival of the modern state. Today, everywhere, Human Rights violations are the rule, rather than the exception.

Organisations such as the Red Cross have always sided with the common man, and have utilised technology in his/her favour. My personal motivation is to help out this Amazing organisation in the best way I know how: by distributing is message in the best possible way.

In our globalised society, where common people are increasingly challenging the "powers that be" by uploading images from a mobile phone, accessing the Internet and writing about abuses and crimes in their communities, I am convinced that we need a globalising and globalised message. And here the ICRC can be of great help. Ironically, man alone cannot face mankind.

One that brings not just hope, but help. As  Leo Buscaglia wrote, "the opposite of love is not hate - it's apathy. It's not giving a damn".

Professionally, I have always believed that free speech is one of humanity's most basic rights. It is key to my work. Without it, my profession becomes a hoax.

Giving a voice to those that need help is a task much greater than I can achieve by myself. However, by working for the ICRC, the task is, though certainly not smaller, it is at least doable.

These are the reasons why I would welcome the chance to work for the ICRC, because it helps me to marry my professional and personal interests into one.
"


I don't know why I'm sharing this, but I thought I had to. 

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Baby 2010

AOG, Barcelona

A new baby brings with it so many things. So many things I never knew about. Mostly because I've never had a new baby before in my life.

The last time a baby entered my life, I was 3 and a half, and that baby was my sister. And I was just a toddler then, so I recall very little.

Ever since then, the only babies I've had in my life have been sporadic affairs. Friends of friends, or my parent's friends. Mostly it has been children my age, or a bit older/younger. 

But never a baby that was particularly pertinent to me.

But things have changed. Last August, my partner's brother and his wife had a baby. 

Upon our return from Istanbul we went to spend a few days with them at her parent's place just outside of Valladolid. And I was amazed.

Since then, especially this week, I've spent more time with him, and all I can say is that this baby is special. 

Lovely. Amazing. Yes, babies are amazing things. And he is. This baby is just awesome in every way.

I don't normally write like this, but I'm head over heels in love with this little person. I can't help it.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

At least one other idiot


AOG, Madrid




Customer service from hell. That is what my friend just told me on the phone. Courtesy of Iberia Airlines. He called, it seems, to confirm that the airline had his and his partner's names correctly, which they didn't since one of them said "Ms" on the ticket. 
The lady on the other side of the phone line, ("for help in English, press one"), after listening to what my friend had said, merely replied -slightly irritated- that if they wanted to do a prebooking change, they had to contact their agent.

So my friend (Taurus) explained to the lady (inept) once again that he merely wanted to confirm that they had their names right. They are flying down to Uruguay for Christmas and New Years (And I so envy them!). 

Again, she didn't listen to a word he said and just told him that if he wanted to prebook his ticket, he had to contact his agent.

Now, if you can read what my friend was saying, and you can read her replies, it is obvious that she wasn't listening to anything he was saying.

How often in life does that happen? I would venture that it happens quite a lot. 

I now that very often I respond to what people say, but somehow, things get "lost in translation" from the time they leave the person's mouth to the time they reach my brain. They say one thing, and I hear another.

It is so easy to get confused. I often tell Madame Mère to listen to what I'm saying, and not to what she thinks I am saying. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. 

However, I too do that. 

I react to what I think is being said and not to what actually is being said. There is obviously a breakdown in communication. We hear, but we just don't listen. 

And sometimes we don't care to listen because we think -and therein lies our error- that we know it all. 

That we are possessors of the truth, or at least, our truth, subjective though it might be, we own nothing but that which lives in our heads, and we care very little for that which lives in the heads of others since, and we all know this to be true, we are always right.

What a great disservice to mankind, as well as to ourselves this is, isn't it? 

The great Civil Rights leader W.E.B. Du Bois wrote, "Herein lies the tragedy of the age: not that men are poor, - all men know something of poverty; not that men are wicked; - who is good? not that men are ignorant, - what is truth? Nay, but that men know so little of men." And he was right. 

We know very little about other people, even those close to us, but we also don't care to know anymore than what we do since we spend precious little time getting to know anybody these days. 

Ever heard of speed-dating? You talk to someone for 5 minutes (or less) and them move on to the next person. Now I ask, can you be your fabulous self in just 5 minutes with 20 different people? 

 No, of course not. "Its a great way to meet new people!" they tell us. But it isn't. Not really. 

I think that beyond a physical impression, little else will be retained by us. And after talking to 20 people, I think most men will agree, who will you go back for? The person who stimulated your brain the most, or the pretty face with the wicked smile and killer ass? 


Exactly. So why pretend?


Facebook, Twitter, online chats, it is all so immediate, so quick. But I dare say that it was always like this. I don't think speed is responsible for our shortcomings. Perhaps it just made a bad situation worse.

And I do wish it were different. Personally speaking, I love it when I meet a like-minded person. 



Why? Because they make you feel like you are not the only idiot in the Universe who thinks like you do. There is, at least, one other idiot like you! 

Isn't it comforting to know that you are not the only one of your species?

And what better than getting to know someone you think you can learn something from? 

Yes, I know that this is not always the case, but it would be folly to think that we can't learn something from everyone we meet in life. However small.
 
"One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions," wrote the American XIX century writer Oliver Wendell Holmes. And how right he was.

In the end, after the lady in question hung up on him, exasperated as she was by all her effort, my friend called back, pressed #2, and spoke to a Spanish speaking operator who fixed his problem. 

There's a lot to be said for manners and good customer service, but that is a post for another day.